HOW & WHY to Prepare your Partner for Birth
As you alllll know when I talk about preparing for a natural birth, we at Natural Birth Co focus on 3 aspects:
PHYSICAL prep
MENTAL prep &
PARTNER prep
This post will specifically talk about WHY preparing the partner is important and HOW to prepare your birth partner.
When preparing your partner for the natural birth experience, all their roles, tasks ‘hats’, have 3 over arching goals
Getting your empowered birth that you’re satisfied with rather than a traumatic birth fuelled by regret and guilt. Honestly, this is a topic that becomes more and more prevalent in my business- The 2 things that are the biggest avoiders of traumatic birth is:
You and your partner being the primary decision makers of your birth experience
Doing all you can to prepare yourself for you dream birth (Physically, mentally, partner prep)
With these 2 things you absolutely know that there was nothing you could have done differently and your birth went how it had to go- no guilt, no regret. When your partner is prepared they can be a massive decision maker during the process of birth, knowing your desires for birth, advocating for you, keeping you on track to your dream birth, avoid the cascade of intervention (Sorry for the tangent but I bang on about this topic every time I can!)
2. The birth partner can really help you stay in your reptilian brain. In this reptilian brain you are able to:
Be intuitive
Allow your hormones to flow efficiently and regularly creating effective contractions
Cope well with pain in labour as your natural hormonal release also producing pain relief
Be in a Time warp- where there is no sense of time- Have you been in labour for 2 hours or 40 hours? The reptilian women doesn’t not know or care
Helps avoid mental exhaustion as you are less stressed therefore less fatigued
3. To allow your birth to flow efficiently and progressively
Labour is a beautiful experience however we don’t want to linger in it for longer than what we have to. When our partner is well prepared for your natural birth they are able to support your hormones to flow as nature intended. This creates efficient contractions, which efficiently descend baby through the pelvis.
Efficient natural pain relief release, Intuitive movement to allow baby to descend.
In addition, the partner can be taught (like we do in our Appetence Active Birth Workshop) how to physically creating space in the pelvis to allow baby to descend. We teach them how to know where baby is in the pelvis and positions you can do to help labour along (especially if their are any stalls during labour). This can drastically reduce the amount of time you are in labour.
Here at NBC we encourage our birth partners to take on 6 roles during labour- All with the intent to fulfil the 3 above goals.
Set and protect the birth space
Both at home and when you arrive to hospital (if going to hospital) and PROTECT the birth space
The birth space should be making the mama feel safe, undisturbed, and unobserved.
Allows mama to get into her Reptilian brain
Allows Hormones to flow effectively
We brainstorm in our birth workshop with couples and I encourage you to do the same- What type of space/environment/vibe do you need to feel safe, undisturbed, and unobserved- where will be set up at home? Organise all this pre birth so the partner knows before labour and you have everything you need
2. Support you emotionally
This emotional support helps you stay in your reptilian brain- mama knows what to do from this place
Stimulate oxytocin- the hormone of love and connection
Emotional support allows you to feel Safe
Allows you to sink into and utilse your Breath
Includes knowing techniques to support you when you are pushed past your edge of tolerance to bring you back to your reptilian state.
3. Support your physically
Massage both strong massage and tickle massage- These not only create space in the pelvis but also stimulates oxytocin.
The partner know positions that are effective to use at different stages of labour can drastically reduce your time spent in labour, the risk of vacuum, forceps, tearing and C-section.
4. Advocate for you
So you feel safe
Stopping you being interrupted out of your reptilian mind
Keep your birth on track to your dream birth
Avoid the cascade of intervention
Have a birth that is aligned with your individual values, based on your decision making
5. Make decisions
To keep you in your reptilian brain- not having to interrupt you for every little decision
To keep your birth on track to your value centred birth
6. Enhance the natural process of birth both hormonally and physically to allow labour to progress efficiently
Creating space in the pelvis knowing where baby is so babe can descend efficiently
Allow the hormonal symphony to run efficiently, this allows;
Contractions/progression
Stay calm
Stimulat oxytocin
Allows mama to move intuitively
What can you do from here to prepare your partner for birth?
Brain storm your birth environment
Birth preferences checklist together- Get our FREE template here!
Workshop different scenarios together for decision making- After our birth workshop this always triggers a lot of conversation between mama and birth partner which is really healthy and helps a lot with the partner being able to make decisions during birth- I encourage you do the same
2 things specifically we workshop between couples in our Appetence Active Birth Workshop:
know all the tools in your pain relief tool belt that the mama is willing to have and and in what scenario so when the partner know that the mama is pushed to her edge and needs something they can ask the midwife “Can we try x” without having to interrupt the mama in her birth space
at what point are you happy to have the epidural
